Heal Your Relationship with Food and Build Body Trust with Jane Pilger

In this episode of The Passionistas Project Podcast, Amy and Nancy sit down with trauma-informed guide Jane Pilger for a deeply compassionate and eye-opening conversation about binge eating, food patterns, and the nervous system. Jane shares her own long journey with binge eating and explains why struggles with food are not about willpower or self-control, but about safety, regulation, and the body’s intelligent responses to stress. Together, they explore how the nervous system drives behaviors around food, what binge eating actually looks like (and what it doesn’t), the concept of body trust as a foundation for healing, and why shame keeps people stuck. Listeners will come away with a new framework for understanding their relationship with food, practical tools for nervous system regulation, and a powerful reminder that healing begins with curiosity, compassion, and learning to feel safe in your own body.

Listen to the full episode HERE.

LINKS

Website

Instagram

Facebook

ON THIS EPISODE

[01:28] Jane Pilger on what she’s most passionate about 

[02:53] Jane Pilger on her personal journey with binge eating

[06:23] Jane Pilger on how the nervous system impacts our relationship with food

[10:21] Jane Pilger on practical tools for regulating the nervous system

[16:16] Jane Pilger on her path to becoming a guide and teacher

[21:54] Jane Pilger on what binge eating really looks like

[23:50] Jane Pilger on everyday food patterns that aren’t binging

[27:29] Jane Pilger on body trust and why it’s foundational to healing

[29:29] Jane Pilger on safety and the “safety paradox” with food

[31:35] Jane Pilger on the biggest myths about binge eating

[35:04] Jane Pilger on How to Work With Her and Her Core Programs

[36:25] Jane Pilger on Expanding Her Work Beyond Food and Creating The Gathering

[40:30] Jane Pilger on Her Dreams for Women and for Herself

FULL TRANSCRIPT

Passionistas: Hi, we're sisters Amy and Nancy Harrington, founders of the Passionistas Project, where we believe that every woman deserves to be seen, heard, and celebrated. Our mission is simple but powerful to give women a platform to tell their unfiltered stories. Stories that inspire challenge, and break the silence around what it really means to follow your Passionistas.

On each episode, we have conversations about courage. Authenticity and the messy beautiful journey of living life unapologetically. Today we're talking with Jane Pilger. Jane guides her clients out of an exhausting cycle of shame, restriction and loss of control, and into a relationship with food and a body that's grounded in trust.

Her trauma-informed compassionate approach will change the way you understand yourself and what healing can look like. So. In a long overdue conversation. We are so happy to welcome Jane to the podcast today.

Jane: Thank you so much. I'm so excited that, uh, we finally were able to make this connect. You know, I just truly believe everything happens in the timing that it's supposed to, even if it is very different from what we ever imagined.

So I just know that, uh, our timing, today's gonna be great. And, uh, I just look forward to, uh, just seeing what we end up talking about today.

Passionistas: Absolutely. So we wanna start by talking about what are you most passionate about?

Jane: You know, I think it really, I feel like that answer would really vary day to day, but I would say answering it today, I'm most passionate about really helping people understand.

Why they do the things that they do that they don't like. So for example, this often shows up for people with food, but, but if food isn't the thing for you, that's like, Ugh, I keep doing this thing that I don't wanna be doing. Why? How do I do this thing? I love people helping people understand. Why they do that thing, understanding our deeper patterns, kind of looking under, I really consider it like looking under the hood at what's happening underneath the surface that leads us to do the things that we might prefer not to be doing.

Um, and really just see them in a different way with a different lens. And when we can start seeing ourselves with curiosity, with compassion, instead of shame and judgment, it just changes. Everything, whether it's food, whether it's, um, how you're showing up in a relationship or how you're showing up at work or the way you're looking at, you know, your options in life.

It, it really does change everything. So I'm just passionate about, I think it's, it's helping people see themselves through a new lens.

Passionistas: So where does that come from? Did you have your own journey through that process?

Jane: Yeah, absolutely. So I, um, I had my own 25 plus year struggle with binge eating. My first binge uh, happened my first semester in college, and of course I didn't know it at the time, but many people's struggles with food, particularly binge eating start.

College and I was no different. And so my first semester in college, I had received a care package and it was filled with candy bars, a bunch of little mini miniature sized candy bars. It was October, and I don't remember the binge itself, but what I do remember is sitting on the floor surrounded by that empty box and just empty wrappers all around me.

And I had eaten the entire box. I remember thinking, oh my gosh, what have I just done? And I had so much shame for what I had done. I did not want anybody to know, and I was determined that I was going to never do that again. And so I started doing all of these things to stop binge eating, which unfortunately were keeping me in the cycle, and I had so much shame.

I was very concerned about how I appeared from the outside and I didn't want anybody to know. And so I really just, I kept it a secret for so long, unknowingly doing these things that were kind of keeping me in the cycle. And, um, I, fortunately, I'm very, uh, stubborn, I guess you could say resilient, uh, determined, and I.

Just kept, I am going to figure this out. And I pretty much said, if I ever do figure this out, I really wanna help other people not have to go through the same struggle that I have, or at least help them see that they're not alone in it because it's such an isolating, it's such an isolating experience.

And so, um, really, so much of my, of my. Work has been really kind of born from that. So I went after college. I ended up going into um, uh, commercial, well, I went into public accounting. I became a CPA and I was an auditor for a period of time. Met my husband. Then I went into commercial real estate, was working on commercial real estate development projects, and these were all.

Fine, but I didn't really feel like I was making a difference. And in the meantime, I still am having my, my challenges with food and I'm trying to figure it out and. As I really kind of, for me, the last piece was learning about the nervous system. And when I really understood about the nervous system and what was happening with the nervous system and how my nervous system and my eating, a lot of my eating was in response to a dysregulated nervous system.

It was like, oh, this changes everything. And so then. That really being kind of like that final piece helped me put everything together. And then I was like, I wanna do this. I, I mean, yes, I can do real estate, yes, I can do accounting, but I feel such an impact when I'm talking with other people who about their own struggles with food, and I'm helping them see that they're not alone and I'm helping them see.

Patterns that they couldn't see or make sense of why they're doing what they're doing and giving them tools and new ways to think about it so that the, the, the struggles with food can kind of fall away instead of it being just this kind of constant fight. And, um, that's really been been my journey.

Passionistas: Yeah. So now you mentioned the nervous system was the key to fi figuring this out. So talk a little bit more about that. What does that mean and how does that trigger responses?

Jane: Yeah, so I, I really talk about eight reasons. There's eight primary reasons that people struggle with food and each. Reason has its own solution.

So one of those reasons is the nervous system. And the nervous system. Our nervous system is always running in the background. It's always, it's a, it's a two-way street. So it's the communication between our brain and our body, and our body and our brain. It's the way that they send signals back and forth to each other, and the, the brain and the nervous system are always scanning and they're always asking one question.

They're always asking, am I. Safe. And when it perceives danger, whether it's real danger or perceived danger, it will send us into the sympathetic state of our nervous system, what we know as the fight or flight state of our nervous system so that we can run away from the danger or we can fight the danger.

Um, if there's so much danger. There's so much threat that. Well, I can't even run away. I couldn't even fight this thing. Then we go into more of the dorsal kind of collapse place where we, where we freeze, where we can't move, where we find ourselves on the couch or unable to get out of bed. And a lot of times what will happen is that in that activated nervous system response, if I'm in fight or flight, there's this excess energy, the body sends a lot of energy.

Through the brain, the body, the nervous system, sends a lot of this excess energy through the system so that we can run away or we can fight and we experience this. You might notice it, like if you're feeling really anxious, if you're really worried, if you're really overwhelmed, you can feel that energy, right, that you have in your body.

Well, we can't live in that state forever. Nobody can. And so we need to figure something out to bring us down, and what many of us discover is that food. Works, food helps to kind of, and bring that energy down kind of really quickly. Now, often what happens, especially with binge eating is that we, we eat and we keep eating so much that we end up kind of down in that more collapsed state, and then we end up kind of going back and forth between that kind of collapse I'm on the couch and that I have to eat, I have to eat a lot right now.

But a lot of times it's, it's in response to what's actually happening in the nervous system and it's something that. We may have discovered when we were young. When something happened, we discovered, uh, so many clients, uh, have stories of, um, maybe they were home after school by themselves and, and they turned, they used food to kind of calm themselves down.

I have a distinct memory of being five and being in my pantry, uh, with an eating brown sugar out of a spoon. And so it's like we kind of. Figure something out for us, and then it what? Fires together. Wires together, and so that gets repeated over and over again. So when my nervous system gets activated.

Then the brain is kind of like, I know what will help. I know what we can do, and then we, we get that connection. But if we can start seeing this as, oh, it's my nervous system. It's not just because I'm broken and I have no willpower and I can't figure this out, and even though I promise that today would be different, here I am doing the exact same thing.

It's like, oh no, this. Is my nervous system. It's, it's one of, it's not the only reason, but it is a, it is a very big, is a very big reason and a, and something that really, it impacts every single human. And if every human could really understand their nervous system better, it helps us make sense of those times when we do kind of run away or we get really angry or we can't get ourselves out of bed or off the couch, that is often a nervous system response.

Passionistas: Once you have that realization and understanding, what are some action items you can take to start to address it?

Jane: Yeah, so initially awareness is always the first step of everything, right? We can't change what we're not aware of. So what I really tell people who, especially people who don't really know a lot about the nervous system, is I like to explain it very, very simply.

So, um. We have kind of the main states of our nervous system are we may be where we're grounded, we're connected, we are, um, uh, it's kind of the, if you're, if you wanna use the terminology that nervous system experts use, it's ventral energy. It's, I feel safe, the safe place. I like to call it home base kind of feel at home in your body.

I'm able to think, I'm able to have a conversation with you. I'm able to take in new information. I'm able to talk about. Goals. I'm able to get things done on my to-do list. That's kind of grounded home base. Then there's that sympathetic state where that fight or flight, that's where we have a lot of excess energy.

I call it above home base. We're above that place, there's a lot of excess energy. Then there's below home base is kind of more of that dorsal, like that shutdown, I can't get out of bed, I can't get off the couch. And so we can literally just for basics, start with home base above and below. And so what you can do is just tune in several times throughout the day and just ask yourself, where am I in my nervous system?

Am I in home base right now? Am I above? Am I below? And if I'm above, what that means is there's this excess energy in my body. So what do I need to do? I need to drain that energy. So what do I want to do? Maybe I wanna go take a walk, going for a walk around the block. Maybe I, anything with rhythm. So walking is beautiful music.

If there is, um, music that you really enjoy. If you do play an instrument, uh, playing an instrument is really powerful. If you are somebody who's a, a, like a creative type, maybe painting, drawing, quilting, knitting, those types of things can really help. Bring some of the energy down and then if you're below home base, what we need is more energy.

So we might also, we could do movement here, but if we've got a lot of energy, we might wanna move a little bit faster. Maybe we're walking kind of quickly. Maybe if you are somebody who likes to jog, you could go for a jog or go to go to a class at the gym. If we are below home base, we might want some gentle movement.

We might wanna splash some cold water on our face or the back of our hands. Uh, music. Also, we might, we might choose certain songs that we know kind of will elevate. Our energy so we can kind of just think about, do I have this excess energy that I need to drain or do I have no energy that I really want to just get some sort of amount of energy into my system?

Because a lot of times what we end up doing is we end up using substances, whether it's food or sugar, or. It might be alcohol, it might be social media, it might be shopping. It might be, it could be any number of things that we end up doing to try to kind of change our state. But if we are internally aware and we can kind of tune in and see where am I, then we can start bringing in other ways to, to kind of balance out that energy.

And then really notice when you're in home base, what did I do to get myself here? When am I more in home base? How can I create more of that for myself? If I notice I get out, if I notice, you know what, I was actually pretty good around 10 o'clock this morning, and by 12 I was above, I could feel my anxiety rising.

Then we can get really curious, well, what happened? What was different? What, uh, what took place? Is there something that I could do? If we can notice in the moment, what's beautiful about the nervous system is. It's not that common that we go, that we go from being nice and calm and in home base to boom.

I'm so far above home base that I'm like really triggered. And, you know, just beyond able to kind of rationally think about things. This happens sometimes, like if, uh, we're on the freeway and all of a sudden the semi truck comes over, right? It's like, ah, we, we might immediately go, something else might happen that could, could trigger us or could kind of send us there in an instant.

But more often than not, it's the slow. It's the slow increase. It's kind of like, um, you can imagine a, a tea kettle on the stove as it gets warmer, warmer, warmer, warmer, and then it boils, and then it, you know, makes its noise. Whatever the, whatever that particular tea kettle does well, if we can catch it, catch ourselves before we blow, take ourselves off of the heat.

We are going to be less likely to get to that place in our nervous system where we're so triggered and the amygdala that's scanning for danger. When it really senses danger, there's no, what happens is that our prefrontal cortex goes offline. So the amygdala, that's like, we gotta keep you safe. We gotta keep you safe.

No amount of this isn't a good idea. Rational thinking. We said we weren't gonna do this when we are really, really, really feel scared. The, the rational part of our brain goes offline, and that's why we can end up doing things we don't want to be doing, and we actually know aren't going to help when we're, when we have that real sense of, of danger.

Passionistas: So you discovered this, this secret and you wanna share it with the world. So tell us that journey. Tell us about becoming someone who is helping others get through all these problems.

Jane: Mm, yeah. So I was a part of a group. I was part of a, an online. Weight loss group for a long period of time, uh, and uh, with Run by a woman by the name of Corinne Crabtree.

And Corinne and I, we ended up going to get certified to Life Coach School certification together in 2015. And really, for me, it was just, I wanna help myself. I wasn't really thinking about helping other people at that point. It was just. I wanna help myself. And so we went and we spent 10 days together and we would be in class during the day and at night we would go back to our room and we were taking notes and we were coaching ourselves and coaching each other.

And we were dreaming up all of these things that we could do and all of these ways that we could help help other people and help other women. And I was like, yes, I really, you know, I really wanna do this. And so, um, and had just some powerful experiences there at, in, in the whole training process as well.

And so came back and was like, all right, I'm gonna do this. I'm going to create my own business and I'm gonna start helping other people with binge eating. And I had a period of time where I, this was before I had learned about the nervous system. So this is, this is, I, I'm, I think I wanna help people. I'm getting certified.

But I don't know about the nervous system yet. And so I start, uh, I, I put up my website and I get to the place where I'm going to be telling people my story. Now, remember, this story has been my very close held secret for a long time, and what I did not anticipate, and no, I mean there was, I just had no idea what might come up for my nervous system in this idea.

Idea that somebody is going to hear my story and this very closely held secret is now going to be available for others to know about. And I started binging again and it was like, so here I was trying to help other people with binge eating. I was bingeing. I had so much shame about that. I knew nothing about the nervous system.

It all felt very big. It felt very overwhelming. And um, I ended up taking a step back for a little bit. It was like, I need to clearly, I need to figure some things out for myself. And again, I just kept learning, there's gotta be something else. And then I started learning more about the nervous system and I was like.

Oh, I see. Okay. This really makes a lot of sense. And so really then bringing in the nervous system, understanding that piece while also now working through, um, the other things. I also started learning more about kind of not only the nervous system, but it was a lot more of the inner world. So when I first went to Life coach school, it was very much, you really focused on your thoughts.

So what you think. Create your feelings, create your, your feelings, create your actions, your actions, create your results. So it was a lot about what are you thinking? And I think there is a, there is a place for that. It is very important for us to be aware of what we're thinking and see how our thoughts do shape how we show up and how, you know, how our lives are.

But. That's not the only piece, right? It's kind of like that's the top down approach from what are we thinking and how does that create what various things in our body. But there has to be the bottom up approach, what's happening in the body, what's happening in the nervous system, um, and then really starting to understand more internal psychology.

Parts work within internal family systems, other parts, psychology modalities, and I was like, oh yes, this makes so much sense to me. We can't just look at our thoughts. We have to really see what's going on underneath the surface, or as I call it, underneath the hood. Right? What? What's happening? Not only with the nervous system, but with these parts of us that don't feel safe because of what's happened to us in our past.

And if we can then start to dialogue with those parts, to have a conversation with those parts, instead of wishing those parts would just go away. I wish I didn't have that part of me. I wish I didn't have that part that, you know, thinks that food is the answer. If that was gone, then my life would just be so much better.

It's like, no actually. We want to get to know that part, understand that part, and we can truly transform what that part does if we are not constantly, um. Rejecting it. So for me it was kind of like this journey of I wanna do this thing and then, and then recognizing the nervous system. And I would imagine this, this journey and my journey is probably so similar from anybody's, is that we start, we take a few steps, and then we realize, oh, there's a lot more for me to learn.

And then we learn and then we, whatever we've learned, we kind of put it out in the world. There's more for me to learn. And then, you know, I think we're just kind of on this constant evolution for ourselves. Then we can take it out to our people and then learn more. And then it's kind of like this compound effect where we keep growing.

We're able to bring that out into the world and, um, just, just keep, keep going. Really,

Passionistas: you know, you did a workshop for us, which was very enlightening for me, and I think. I didn't really understand what binging was. I think we all know. That term. But yeah, when you were talking about it, it was like, oh, I see patterns in my daily life that I never associated with that.

So can you talk about what binge eating looks like? Yeah. And the patterns

Jane: of it? Yeah, absolutely. So, binge eating, without getting into diagnostic manuals or anything like that, there really some, um, key characteristics of a binge compared to, let's say, overeating. So binge eating is eating large amounts of food.

More than would normally be consumed at a period of time. Um, often there it's usually eating very quickly, uh, often in secret. Oftentimes there are unusual combinations of foods. So you might be eating foods or combinations of foods that you might not normally, uh, be eating. Otherwise, kind of, maybe it's just random things you can find in your pantry or not something that, uh, you would typically.

Just sit down to eat. And the other hallmark with, with binge eating is, uh, experiencing shame. So kind of this feeling, and not only shame, but this feeling of being unable to stop. So it's like I just can't, like I have to, I can't stop, I can't control myself, I can't stop. And then afterwards there's generally pretty significant.

Shame. So in some cases, like with overeating, uh, and, and I don't always even like to get into the distinction, is it a, is it a binge? Is an o is it an overeat? But for some people it's like they just, I really like this food and I'm just, I'm eating it because I really, really enjoy it. With binge eating, there's more of this sense of a loss of control.

I can't stop myself, I can't stop eating, and there's kind of a, kind of a, a powerless lessness to it.

Passionistas: There's also patterns with food that aren't necessarily binging. Right. They're just That's

Jane: right.

Passionistas: No, I do it like you were talking about earlier. I'm anxious. What am I gonna do? I'm gonna go grab a handful of chocolate covered almonds from Trader Joe's that my husband had to bring home from the grocery store yesterday.

Yes, yes, yes, absolutely. Yes. Talk a little bit about those kind of patterns. How you work with people who have those.

Jane: Yeah, so I think with those and really with anything, it's a matter of, of, again, getting under the hood. So what's going on underneath, that's having us go towards whether we are eating in this way that's like, I feel out of control and I'm eating these crazy volumes of food or.

I feel really anxious, and so I'm gonna go have some chocolate covered almonds. We really can look under the hood in, in both instances. And so, um, there's really eight reasons why people eat, why they binge, why they kind of feel out of control around food, really any food patterns. There's, there's eight.

Main reasons. And so the first one is shame and judgment. And I really like to think of, again, if we look under the hood to see what's going on, shame and judgment is like that 50 pound weight on the hood of the car. And so if we have shame and judgment about ourselves, I shouldn't be doing this. I'm broken.

Here I go again. I'll never figure this out. We literally can't even get. Under the hood to see what else is going on. So if we can replace shame and judgment with curiosity, and we can get under the hood, we can see that there may be. One of, one or more of seven things that are going on. And so the first one is restriction.

So maybe, um, a lot of people who start binge eating have a history of significant restrictions. So for a lot of people, they, um, went on a really significant diet. Pretty high caloric restriction diet, then that led to the binging and then, then other things can happen after that. So, um, restriction can be physical restriction, mental restriction, just saying, I shouldn't be eating that.

These foods are good, these foods are bad. Um, that type of thing. The nervous system we've talked about. Just disconnection from the body. So I'm not connected at all with, with my body and for a lot of different reasons. Some people may be disconnected because of trauma. Some people may be disconnected just because they've always just been more, more cerebral, more of a logical thinker.

Um, but I'm not really in tune with my hunger signals, with my fullness signals, with, with anything. There's just that disconnection there. Um, coping mechanism. I, I feel certain emotions then I want to eat. In order to feel better. Attempt to control. I'm if, if I feel out of control. A lot of people have this similar feeling of, um, I feel so out of control in every other area of my life and food seems like this one thing that I can control.

So sometimes when people try so hard to control, control the body, control the appetite, control your weight, uh, it can really backfire and lead to the binge eating, um, habit. Anything we do. Over and over repeatedly again, kind of becomes a habit and some habits serve us well and some don't. A lot of people look at food behaviors as a habit first, and yes, they very much can be a habit.

Um, but if we only look at it as a habit without looking at. The, um, emotional regulation, the nervous system, the other things, the restriction, the control. If, if we don't look at those things, then no amount of just looking at the behavior and the habit itself will actually lead to lasting change. And then the last reason is just negative self-talk.

The way we talk to ourselves about ourselves in our head, we can really perpetuate, perpetuate that cycle.

Passionistas: Yeah. So, so then what is body Trust and how is that foundational

Jane: to healing? Yeah, yeah. So this really goes to the, the, the reason of disconnection from the body. So many of us are disconnected for a lot of reasons, and we need to learn how to reconnect with the body.

Your body is always communicating with you, always. The challenge is that most of us. From very young. We've taught ourselves not to listen. We've cut ourselves off. It's like, yeah, I'm tired, but I'm just gonna keep going. I'm just gonna keep pushing. Yeah, I'm hungry, bud. I'm just gonna, you know, it's not time to eat yet, so I'm gonna keep, or no, I'm not hungry, but I'm just gonna keep eating because it tastes so good, or whatever it is.

Right? The body really is always talking to us, but we have literally just cut ourselves off, and so if we can. Start to develop a relationship where there's this two-way trust with our body. So two-way trust sounds like this. I trust that my body is going to communicate with me. It's gonna tell me what it needs, it's gonna tell me, um, what, what it's experiencing.

Hunger. Fullness. I trust that it will do that. And my body trusts that when it communicates with me, I will actually listen. I will respond. Now, most of us don't have that two way. It's like, no, I don't trust, I don't trust my body. I've been on a diet for so long, I don't even get hunger signals anymore, or I don't even get fullness signals anymore.

Or yeah, maybe I get them, but I don't trust it, so I just push or I don't like what it's saying. So, you know, I'm not going to listen. So it's a process of really tuning in and really reestablishing that relationship with your body and re realizing and recognizing it really is always communicating with you always.

Passionistas: And what about the term safety? What does that mean in terms of your relationship with food?

Jane: Yeah, so, so there's um, this thing that I call the safety paradox. And it's this many of us, when we were younger, we have this kind of, uh, maybe we have some experience where we talked about the nervous system, right?

And so the nervous system we're, we are triggered. We have, we're up in that fight or flight. We realize, oh, food, food will help me feel better. It'll kind of like bring me down from that. Um, you know, kind of anxious or worried or fearful place. And so I eat this food and oh, now I feel better. Then what happens, and many of us have, can kind of remember, oh yeah, when I was a kid, I remember, uh, you know, maybe when I got hurt, maybe my mother gave me cookies or something like that.

Right? Then what happens as we get older, these foods that once upon a time we went to, to feel better, to feel safe are now not safe at all because this food is now, I don't trust myself around it. I think I, once I start, I can't stop. And so it's this safety paradox where it's like there's this part of me that wants to turn to this food for safety, but then there's this other part that's like, no, no, no, that.

Food's not safe. And so really now my nervous system is just like doubly alarmed because even the one thing that I went to to create that safety is no longer creating that safety. So then the paradox is that we need to then learn how to create safety for our. Through other ways outside of food. And that then gets into some of the, the nervous system work, really looking at co-regulation, um, other strategies that we can use when food has been that strategy and that attempt for safety, but it actually doesn't feel safe.

So it really does end up feeling like so, so complicated because now I don't really have a safe place to go.

Passionistas: What are some of the biggest myths about binge eating that you think people you wish people understood?

Jane: Well, I would say one myth is that you can tell just by looking at somebody if they, if they have.

Binge eating disorder or you know, if they do binge. Um, I remember I went through two rounds of intention intensive outpatient therapy at a local eating disorders treatment center here. And, um, they actually wrote a, they wrote a, they ended up doing a newspaper article about the, the eating disorders treatment center.

And they asked me if I would, I guess this was my first foray into being in the public about. My binge eating and I said that I would be in this article and they took a picture of me and that the headline was, eating disorders are not always easy to detect, and so it was this, you would never look at me and think, oh yeah, she has a problem.

You know, with food or whatever, and the vice versa, you can look at somebody else and you can look at somebody who is in a bigger body, and some people assume they have a problem with food. That's not always the case either. So one myth for sure is that you can tell if somebody has. A problem with binge eating just by looking at them.

And that is absolutely not the truth. Um, another myth about binge eating is that some people believe that once you have, you know, you kind of deal with binge eating, that you always, it will just always be with you. Um, I don't believe that. I do believe that's a myth. I also do believe that for most people, not everybody, but for most people, recovery from binge eating takes.

A significant period of time. Um, some people think it's kind of like the two extremes, which binge eating. Binge eating comes a lot from black and white thinking. It comes from all or nothing thinking the good, the bad, the right, the wrong. You know, I'm eating this bad thing, so I'm gonna be perfect tomorrow.

So now I have to get it all out of my system. There's a lot of that that shows up in binge eating. Um, but there's also a lot of beliefs on either extreme. So there's kind of on this one end that that's like. You know, you can just stop right away. And there's another that's like, you'll always do this, and I really fall in the middle.

Um, I really believe that yes, you can absolutely overcome it and it takes time. So that's, uh, that would be, that would be another one. And then I think some people really feel like they, um, another myth would be that. I not, it's not only that I'll always be this way, but like my, my, my thoughts, my preferences, my behaviors around food, like won't change.

Like they can't change because I've done this for so long, I've for so many years. And I would say that's absolutely a myth. I've seen so many people change, like in really significant ways. And again, it usually takes time to get there, but the amount of change. Is that is available just with neuroplasticity and the way we can rewire our brains is remarkable if we're willing to continue on with just with the, with the practicing of the new responses.

Passionistas: So if somebody. Uh, realizes that they need your support, what does that look like? What, how, how do they work with you? What kind of programs do you offer?

Jane: Yeah, so I have two, uh, two programs specifically that are, that are, that are food focused. One is a group program, it's called Cultivate. And what I love about the Cultivate Group is that it's, it is a group of people who struggle with food on this journey together.

And it's, it's people who are in different stages. Some people who are, you know, pretty new into the group, some people who have been in the group for a long time, all different ages, literally all over the world. And so the group is amazing because you really get to. Be in community with other people who really understand what it's like.

Uh, and for so many people, they've not talked to anybody about their food struggle. So having that connection is really powerful that, uh, I only open a couple of times a year, so, um, but that is, that is an option. It's called Cultivate. And then I also do one-on-one support. So if somebody really wants. Um, kind of more of the, the deeper kind of let's get under the hood, working with your nervous system, working with your own internal parts, the parts that show up that, you know, have us doing these things with food, really exploring some of that.

Um, I do that in, uh, in one-on-one as well.

Passionistas: So, um, but before we started recording, you told us that you were expanding your business a little bit. Yeah. So tell us how that came about and what you're doing.

Jane: Yeah, so, um, the other, you know, as we talk about this, it's like the two kind of central themes here really are the nervous system and understanding.

The, the internal parts, what's going on underneath the surface, the, the part psychology, the part that wants to eat, the part that wants to be healthy, the part that wants to move forward on this project, the part that just wants to sit on the couch. We all kind of know what it's like to have these, these different parts of ourselves.

You know, one part wants to do something, the other part doesn't. Um, and I love doing this internal work, both with nervous system and kind of the internal. I also have been noticing that and for myself and my clients, there's so much out there to consume that we're busy looking outside of us for answers, and in this fast-paced world with so much information, what we all need more than anything is too slow.

Down to listen to ourselves again, it's kind of back to that body trust. What is my body saying? What is my internal wisdom saying is right for me? Not what I heard. You know, somebody say on a podcast to do the top five things this year. And so what I've created is a, a new space. It's called the gathering.

This is not food specific. But it does bring in the nervous system. It brings in the internal parts, it brings in safety, it brings in, um, it's really going to be a monthly guided session where I, you show up and I create a, a, a space for you and guide you through nervous system practices to create some safety, the ability to actually slow down.

And I walk you through ways that you can hear your own internal wisdom. Not looking to somebody else to tell you what to do. So this is not a course, this is not a coaching, this is not, it really is a pl, it's a safe place to be guided, to slow down and to hear your own wisdom, to kind of stop trying to fix yourself and start learning to listen to your own guidance as to what's next.

And so I'm really excited about, it's called The Gathering and it literally will be just come and gather and I will guide you. To be able to kind of slow down and listen to your own internal guidance.

Passionistas: I love that. I love Slow Down has been one of my mantras this year. Like just slow. Yes. You don't have to be busy all the time.

Yes, exactly. Yes.

Jane: And for a lot of nervous systems that are kind of just constantly going, slowing down doesn't always feel safe. Right? And so a lot of us are like, yes, I need to slow down. But when we try, it's like, no, I can't. I gotta do this, I gotta do that, I gotta do that. And so this is really designed to help the person who.

Can't slow down on their own, create enough safety so that you can slow down and listen even if it's for one hour in, in the month. Yeah,

Passionistas: yeah. I, I personally find my own nervous system ramps up right before I go to bed.

Jane: Mm.

Passionistas: Yes. I'm lying in bed, ready to fall asleep. And that's when my, my heart starts racing and things start, and it's like I, 'cause I finally allowed myself to stop.

Right? I stopped Yes. With the distractions and with, yep. And I stopped. And that's when my nervous system goes, wait a minute.

Jane: Yes, that's exactly right. Yes.

Passionistas: Yeah, so I love that. So when does this program start?

Jane: So it starts in January the first, uh, the first call will be January 21st and it will take place on the third Wednesday of every month.

Passionistas: And how can people get in touch with you for this program or to work with you on food issues?

Jane: Yeah, so, uh, my website is uh, jane pilger.com. If you go there, you can get to any, any of, any of the various places from there.

Passionistas: Excellent. So we have one last two part question. Okay. Which is, what is your dream for women and what is your dream for yourself?

Jane: Hmm. My dream for women is that every woman would know and be believe. In her own worth, in her own worthiness as it is right here, right now, that you do not have to change, you do not have to do, you do not have to achieve, you do not have to anything like you just are worthy and lovable and just amazing right here, right now.

That would be my dream for every woman. And as I say it out loud, it would really be my dream for myself too. I mean if, if I'm honest, like I love that, like as I say it, it's like, yes, and I know I'm still a work in progress in that area too.

Passionistas: Thanks for listening to the Passionistas Project podcast. As real life sisters, best friends and business partners, we know how rare it is to have a built-in support system.

But we also know that so many women activists, solopreneurs, and purpose-driven people are out there doing it alone and wishing they had a community like ours. That's exactly why we created the Passionistas Project Sisterhood. A space where support, trust, and authenticity come first. When you join, you become part of our extended family.

You'll get the tools you need to grow your business, develop personally, and create real social impact. You'll also learn from our power Passionistas leaders, change makers, and experts who share their wisdom on everything from letting go of perfectionism to embracing community and stepping fully into your purpose.

Whether it's through online meetups, chat spaces, Passionistas tv, and the Passionistas Podcast Network, or our exclusive workshop series, you'll be surrounded by like-minded women and gender non-conforming folks who are just as passionate as you are about living with purpose and making a difference.

Visit the Passionistas project.com to join our free membership and become part of this growing global sisterhood of passionate change makers. We'll be back next time with another inspiring Passionista who's breaking down the barriers and defining success on her own terms.

Until then, stay passionate.