Finding Your Diamonds with Liz Svatek

In this inspiring conversation, Liz Svatek — powerhouse transformation coach, bestselling author, and host of the Liz Svatek Show — talks with Amy and Nancy Harrington about living boldly in the Warrior Woman Era. Liz shares her journey of hitting the wall at 49, healing her past, embracing her legacy, and empowering women to find their own diamonds. From battling infertility to writing a deeply honest book, Liz opens up about transformation, storytelling, and the power of community.

Listen to the full episode HERE.

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ON THIS EPISODE

[00:00:48] Liz shares what she’s most passionate about: helping women discover and live their legacy every day

[00:02:04] How hitting the wall at 49 led Liz to search for impact, depth, and her true legacy

[00:04:51] Realizing she needed healing, upgrading her thinking, and getting tools to move beyond guilt and shame

[00:07:01] Liz explains how gratitude can heal or harm, and how to stop weaponizing it against ourselves.

[00:10:52] Why women’s stories matter and how sharing truth creates connection and transformation.

[00:14:57] Choosing authenticity over perfection in Finding Your Diamonds 

[00:17:45] Facing infertility, a traumatic birth, and the lessons she’s learned from her son’s resilience.

[00:23:44] How readers are highlighting every page, learning about boundaries, and connecting through Diamond Dinners.

[00:27:07] The powerful realization that everything — even pain — was meant to happen

[00:29:55] Liz’s breakthrough moment doing “little girl work” and how minimizing trauma dishonors our younger selves.

[00:34:13] Creating Warrior Women and discovering authentic connections by following her legacy.

[00:38:23] Rebranding her podcast, interviewing Paul Stanley, and embracing bigger conversations.

[00:43:55] Liz reveals her top three dream interviews: Wynonna Judd, Hillary Clinton or Michelle Obama, and Carol Burnett.

[00:47:28] How to Connect with Liz

[00:48:43] Dreams for Herself and for Women

FULL TRANSCRIPT

Passionistas: Hi, we're sisters Amy and Nancy Harrington, the founders of the Passionistas Project, an inclusive sisterhood where women find support, purpose, and empowerment. On each episode, we share stories of passion-driven women who are breaking Berriez and redefining success. Today we're talking with Liz Svatek, a powerhouse confirm transformation coach, bestselling author, and host of the globally ranked Liz Svatek Show As the founder of Warrior Woman Inc., Liz empowers women over 40 to stop shrinking, reclaim their voice, and live boldly in the Warrior Woman era.

Liz, we are so excited to have you here today. This is long overdue, and, um, so Liz, what are you most passionate about?

Liz: Oh my God, where do I start? How long is this podcast? As long as you have. So, what I'm, I'm most, really what I'm most passionate about is helping women find their legacy.

That is really what I'm most passionate about. I feel like when I, when you bold, boil down all the things I do, um, after I help women heal, after I help them kind of get through some pain of the past, how after I help them reinvent and choose themselves. What happens next is they start discovering their legacy.

They start realizing, oh my gosh, this is a way that is unique to me, that I could leave an impact, that I can be leaving an impact every single day I can. Because legacy I think is such an interesting word. I think people think of it as what happens when you're gone, but I think legacy is what you live now.

I think it's how you live now. It's how you're showing up, how you're feeling, how do other people feel when they're around you. And so this legacy thing is really, really interesting. And this is only really work we get to do in the forties and fifties and sixties and seventies and eighties. And so it's juicy work.

It's juicy. So I love it. That's what I'm most passionate about.

Passionistas: So why, what is the, what brought you to the place where that's your passion?

Liz: Well, because I had none, I couldn't find it. I was like, where's this thing hiding? I don't understand. I, you know, well really, in all se seriousness, I, I think I, when I hit the wall at 49 and I, you guys have read my Finding Your Diamonds book so you guys know all the ugly truth.

Uh, but when I hit the wall at 49, the thing that was most shocking to me was I seem to have it all. I mean, I'd kind of checked all the boxes. Like, look at me. I have a nice husband. I've got some great kids. I have a nice house. I drive a nice car. I've got a job that they pay me very well for that I'm good at

.

Why am I feeling so meh? Like just dead. Like I literally remember thinking, this can't be it.

Like is this it? This is my life. Like it just. And I thought, how, how ungrateful am I? Like I have all these things. I was weaponizing gratitude. Against myself. I was using gratitude as a way to block these questions that I was having about my own legacy.

I didn't even realize you could have a legacy. I didn't know that. That at the time was what I was searching for. And now that I look back on that, that's what I wanted. I wanted impact. I wanted depth. I wanted to feel like I mattered, like there was something I was here that was unique to me that I could bring to the world.

I didn't wanna just do a job. That I was paid well for, that I was good at. I didn't even really like what I was doing. So, and I just didn't even invite myself into that question. And I think through all the healing that I've done and through all the work that I've done, I finally figure out how to get there.

And now I'm living that legacy. And that's so exciting. 'cause now I, when I wake up in the morning, I, you know, every time I. Put two feet on the floor. I'm like, here I'm, again, I'm doing it like, it just, it feels so exciting to live this way, and I really didn't know this was possible. So now I, of course, because I'm a woman and women, women are the leaders of the world.

We don't just discover something and keep it to ourselves. I mean, that's just not even a thing we do. Right? You know how we are. If we find anything, Amy and Nancy sisters, if we find anything that works for us, we're like, let me tell you about this. Here, go try this guy. It's amazing. Have you been to this dry cleaner?

Have you seen this show? Like we, we, we can't keep it to ourselves. So now I'm over here like a crazy lunatic because I want everyone to find their legacy. I want everyone, and imagine a world full of women. Living in their legacy. This is like a dream to me.

Passionistas: How did you break out of that? Meh. How did you Right, right. How'd what, what, what, what was that first step? What'd you do?

Liz: Well, the first step is I had to really realize that's where I was. Like I had to actually get real with myself because I think I was using a lot of wine and a lot of wine 30 to just kind of hot and numb, numb myself. I think I was using gratitude against myself.

I was just kind of not wanting to admit that this could be true. Um, so I think the first step was I had to just note that. Yeah. And, and let me just say this, this is the beauty of this. If you think there's more for you, there is. Because there's plenty of women who are sitting in, I don't know, let's just make up a place Oklahoma, and they're just sitting on a barka, lounger, and guess what they're feeling great.

They're married. You got a couple kids. They watch Jeopardy every night, and guess what? They're fine. They're good. They're like they're happy. Good for them. That was not me. I needed more and I felt guilty about that more so first. I just had to be aware that this was even like going on and admit that it was true.

I had to kind of get past the guilt and the shame of it and just get curious. Okay. What does this even look like for me? Right? And then what I realized I needed ne next was really some healing. I needed to kind of go back and get some tools. And you know what's funny is we will upgrade a phone, we will upgrade a computer, we will upgrade our wardrobe, but you know, we don't upgrade our thinking.

We don't, I had some absolute mind trash going on that I needed to really sort through, right? I had the voice of the inner critic on a loop, and so I needed to sort through some of that and get some new tools, and I needed to upgrade my thinking so we could go along with this woman that I wanted to become.

Passionistas: You've said it a couple times in this conversation and I loved it in the book, talk about that concept of using gratitude as a weapon. 'cause we're all being trained that we need to have gratitude and we do. You know, like I'm happy I do my gratitude lists and all those things, but you have pointed out to me now that it can also be a, a hindrance.

To forward movement

Liz: a a hundred percent. And, and let me just ask you this, have you ever met an ungrateful woman? I haven't. I'd love to meet this person. We have been, this has been drilled into us. We don't need to work at this. This is not something we need to work at. Gratitude is a frequency. It is not a to-do list.

So when we're making these gratitude lists, a lot of us got this from the Oprah Show, God bless her, and we just started making the gratitude list, and it just became a little checklist. I'm grateful for this, I'm grateful for that. And we're just like, okay, I did my g, I did my sit ups, I did my gratitude list.

Guess what? I'm a good person. High five, right? That's not what gratitude is. What gratitude is is a frequency. So gratitude without emotion does nothing for us. I could literally sit here and tell you how grateful I am for Zoom and I could start crying about it. And people think that's ridiculous, but let me just reflect to you without a Zoom, I would've never had a podcast without a Zoom.

I could have never survived 2020 because I wouldn't have seen my friends without a Zoom. I would've never met half of my clients 'cause they don't live in la. They live in Texas and Florida and Chicago and New York, and so the gratitude, I literally feel chills up my body saying this, the gratitude I have for Zoom, I could cry.

That's how much that is. Gratitude. When you feel that emotional signature in your chest that just pulls you like, my God, I don't know what I would do without this. I'm so grateful for this. Right. That's gratitude. Gratitude. Used in that domain as a frequency never holds you back from a legacy. But gratitude, when you use it as a shaming, a guilt, when you use it against yourself, I should, that's how you know I should be more grateful.

I just should, you know, I shouldn't want more. What more could I want? And the worst thing is we do it to each other because when we tell a girlfriend. God. You know what guys, sisters, I don't know about this marriage. I'm just feeling like it is dead to me, and I don't know. We say what? No, he's wonderful and you're so lucky, right?

Or I don't know about this job guys. Like, I just, I feel like I'm going nowhere. Oh my God, girl, you're getting paid so much and you're, you've worked so hard to get where you are. We will gratitude each other. We will weaponize it against each each other instead of getting curious and saying, oh my God, that's so interesting that you're feeling like that about your job.

Do you think you wanna make a change? Because if, because, and I'll tell you the really reason why we do this, because it's really scary to see a woman go for her dreams. It's really scary to see someone walking away from a marriage walking away from a job, because you know what it says to us? Dammit, I wanna do that too.

Like I wanna do that too. It triggers us. So we have to say to ourselves, no, I don't need to use it against myself like a weapon. I wanna be curious about some of these shoulds that I'm feeling and just asking myself and believe me. I, I wanna keep all marriages together. I am a, I'm a huge proponent of relationships being together, but I'm also not a fan of you use, you shoulding your way through a marriage if you're gonna stay in a mar.

I've been married for 22 damn years. Hello. I believe in marriage. You shouldn't be shooting yourself in a, in a marriage if you don't feel like this marriage is where you want it to be. It's, that's a smoke signal. Let's, let's look at that. Let's ignite it again. Let's figure out how it could feel amazing for you in this season.

Passionistas: So you started your career path as a writer and screenwriter. What drew you to storytelling and how has that thread kept going through all the work you do and the work you do now?

Liz: Yeah, that's such a good question. No one has ever asked me that before, Nancy. Um, I love these questions. Okay. Well, I would say yeah, as a screenwriter, you know, it's fun.

I used to hear voices. In my head and I would just write down what they're saying. I'm like, I don't know who these people are, but they're sure they're having a great conversation. So I guess this is a screenplay. I'll just write this down. Um, I think storytelling is really a way for women to heal. You know, every group I run in, I, every, every coaching group I run, every class I teach, I have women kind of tell some of the stories of what, where they are and what they've been through.

Every woman always says to me, I don't wanna tell this story. And I say, why? And they say, because nobody's gonna understand. Nobody's been through what I've been through. And every time they do, there's another woman in the room that says Me too. And they can't believe it. And I tell them, girl, you are not alone in this.

Just tell the truth. And when they do, they feel so validated. 'cause it's not just me saying. You know, this is important to share and you matter and all those things, but when another woman holds the space and says, yes, my God, me too. I went through that too. I had that right. We just feel so much better.

It's such a healing that happens. And I used to say, you know, when I first launched my podcast, it was called Conversations with Warrior Women before I kind of stepped into a bigger legacy and started calling it the Liz Ock Show. 'cause that was, that was another way I was stepping into legacy. But when it was called that, my tagline was, every woman has a story.

You just need to ask her. Because I would think about all the dinners that I went to, these big kind of dinner parties, which I don't like. Love. I've gotten older and now I'm like, can I go to dinner with three people? Can I go to dinner with one person? Like, 'cause I, I wanna talk to people, right? But I would think, my God, I sat next to that woman all night.

I don't know her story. Like I know nothing about that woman because I was talking to some other people and I never got to talk to her and it would bother me. And I thought, my God, I don't even know her story. I could have learned something from her. Right? And I thought, my God, we need to really get curious about other women's stories.

'cause we do go to those dinners and lunches and we don't really go deep. Right on anything. And it, and I think at this age we really crave depth. Like this is all we want. Like all we want is to like go deep. Like I just wanna go in the deep end of the pool with the sisters and like talk about all the things like, I don't really wanna do, like it's nice outside and it's sunny and can you believe this weather?

Like I cannot do that. I, I cannot do that. Those conversations anymore, I don't think you guys can either.

Passionistas: Nope.

Liz: No. So I think this is kind of where we are like, right, we we're in that storytelling era. We're in that, let me heal, let me tell my story, let me own it. Let me not feel guilty or shameful or regret, because guess what?

It's a, it's a foundation that I'm standing on this story and we're gonna move on from there.

Passionistas: Yeah. Well, speaking of telling your stories, we recently read your new book, finding Your Diamonds, which was amazing. Um. It's a really helpful book. There are lots of tools in the book, um, that will help you explore your own thoughts and your own experiences, but you wrote it in such a way that was so deeply revealing, and as you said earlier.

You know, we've only known you, um, a short period of time. We've spent most of our time with you in social situations. We've been able to have some conversations, but never really been able to go deep into our own personal stories. And you reveal so much about the experiences you've had throughout your life that someone who just meets you at a dinner party might not expect to discover about you.

Absolutely. So. I think it was really courageous of you to do that. Um, I hope it was healing for you to do it, but I wonder were you afraid to tell those stories and what did, um. What pushed you through to actually decide, this is the way I'm gonna write this book.

Liz: Well, I didn't wanna write this book, Amy.

I wanted to write the cute book, Amy. You know that book that you write where you look really perfect and amazing, and you tell all these great stories about yourself and you're like, look, what a success I am. Isn't it incredible everyone? Doesn't everyone wanna be my friend? Like, that's, that's the book I wanted to write.

Uh, and when I told my editor that that was the book that I was planning on writing, she's like, Nope. She said, nobody is gonna read that book. Nobody, not one person's gonna read this book. And I said, oh my God. And she, and she said, you gotta tell the real story. You gotta tell the real things. And it's funny because you're saying.

We've only known you a short time. We didn't know these things. My friends of 20 and 30 years did not know these things. The people that do know these things are my clients because I do use my own experience because guess what? When they tell me they're alone, and I say, Nope, me too. They say, oh my God, you and I say yes, me.

Right? So my clients did know a lot of it, not everything, but I thought, okay, she's right. Nobody's gonna read this book, and if I really wanna help people. I have to tell these stories and I can't tell the cute stories and the great stories. I have to tell the real stories, and I want people to know how, how did I transform myself?

How did I reinvent? How did I find my legacy? All the things. That I coach people and, and teach people. I wanted to make that book. The accessibility, right? Anybody can have it. I've had girl, girls buy one, but then they go buy 10 because they wanna give it to every girlfriend. It's this little engine that could, it's a little grassroots roots movement.

But what really made me do it is I wanted women to know the how. I thought, why, why is this gatekeeping happening? We, we need to know, how do we do this? And I want women to know how. And telling those stories was a healing that I did not expect because when I looked back at some of those old, you know, stories of my past, I saw my father differently.

I saw my mother differently. I saw my my sister differently. I saw everything differently from a different lens, and it really, really showed me. Why I do what I do, how I've landed, where I've landed. It was a super cathartic journey. I think writing a book for a woman is one of the best things we can possibly do.

We become the wise woman on the hill. We get all this new, and believe me, I knew my own story. I know the things that I've been through, but it was really interesting when you look at the totality of your life, it is a, it's a healing journey for sure.

Passionistas: Talk about the part of your journey where you became a mother and how that impacted your perspective on your identity and your reinvention.

Liz: You know, we don't get to choose the things that become our anthems. Because if I wanted to choose my anthem, it would've been like perfect girl with perfect life and perfect children. And she had everything and she died. Amen. Done. Uh, but that's not what happened to me. And that's not what happens to any warrior woman because every warrior woman is a re, is a warrior for a reason.

We've been through so many things. Um, but I had to battle through infertility. You know, I had to go through that whole process. And even when I finally. Did through in vitro, uh, get pregnant with Landon. I thought that was the end of my troubles. Let's start laughing now. I thought that was my hardest thing I would ever go through.

It was infertility, hilarious that I thought that. Um, but it's true. I really thought, okay, I've had my hard thing. I've, I'm done now. And you know, Landon's birth was extremely. Traumatic, extremely traumatic. He was born with, um, well, he was born with right arterial thrombosis, which is a fancy way of saying a ton of blood clots in his right arm.

Uh, he had a stroke at birth, so the plan was they were gonna cut, they were gonna amputate his arm, they were gonna amputate his arm, and they were going, he was brain damaged. This was all an emergency C-section. It was, he, he literally came into the world like a comet, right? Like it was just like a fire blazing insanity.

And that was my first baby. And I went home from the hospital with not with no baby. And I even ran into a friend in the lobby with her little daughter in a pink blanket, and she literally said, where's your baby? I wanted to die. I just wanted to just die, and I spent 52 days in the hospital with that child.

It was gut wrenching. It was horrible. It was sad and scary, and it just changed everything for me because. You know, there's people that do this pregnancy journey. Oh my God, I had a glass of wine and now I have a baby. I mean, I listen, I celebrate you. If you had a glass of wine, if you have a baby, now, I don't, I, I don't know what to say more than congratulations.

That's incredible For you, I had to really work hard for this baby. In vitro alone was a hard journey, but what he had to go through. How he was born. There's not a day that goes by that I don't learn and appreciate and have immense gratitude that he is actually here and alive and thriving because that it was a miracle.

I mean, they saved his arm. He doesn't have brain damage. That kid just went to college for God's sakes. But that kid has taught me so much about what you can do with the every adversity thrown at you, and he continues to amaze me. And that changed everything for me. You know, I, I don't think, uh, I, I don't walk around kind of like with my mother hat, my motherhood hat on all the time because I, I wear, I feel like I wear so many hats, but that connection I have with him is so strong.

'cause of, of everything we've been through, we tell each other. Things that I think other kids and mothers don't. We have really deep conversations and I think that could have only happened from the way he came into the world. So I'm talk about grateful. I am grateful for that. Have your kids read the book?

So funny? You know what I, part of me was like, don't read this book. Like I, part of me was like, do I want them to know all these things? And you know what? The way I thought about it, about it was this, when I wrote the book, the minute I wrote the last word. I literally went to a Reiki healer and she said, what are you needing right now?

And I said, I need to release this book. I need to release it from myself. I wanted this book to go on its own journey. I want it to be on its own trajectory and I wanna be completely detached from what happens. I don't, I don't know what's, I don't know if one person will read it or 500,000 people will read it.

I have no idea what will happen, but I needed to release it. And so she did this whole healing with me and we released the book and I felt so good. 'cause I was like, oh. Now I don't have responsibility for this book. It's just gonna come out and it's gonna do what it does, and I feel so good about that.

But part of that was also releasing my children from being forced to read this book. So I thought if they feel called to read it. They will read it. I think Coco has read probably half of it. Um, I think it's a lot, it's a lot of heaviness. You know, this is her grandmother. I'm talking about her grandfather.

I'm talking about her brother, her mother. Right. It's a different lens when you see how much your mother has had to go through. Right. So I think she'll finish it when she's ready. Um, Landon Red Landon is not like reading, he's not been like me. He's. Falling in love with reading later in life. That happened for me later in life.

So he is not really in love with reading, but he did read his, uh, chapter in the book and he, what he said to me is, mom, I, I had to start crying when I read this chapter. And I said, why? What, what really? What was, what was, what were the tears about? He said, mom, I just never realized what you went through.

Oh, he's like, I only knew the story from my perspective. I didn't understand. How a mother would feel going through that. And he said, I didn't realize how upsetting that would be for you to have that happen to you. And I thought, my God, how generous is that, right? That he can look at it now that he's 19 years old and he can say, wow, I can see my mother as a mother.

And say, my God, how hard that must have been that that's your first child and that's how he's coming into the world. And I said, well, what did you think about the part where I actually said that it wasn't me that saved your life, it was you. And he said, that was pretty cool, mom. He said, I like, I like thinking of it like that.

I said, I do too. So that, I think that was healing for him. That's amazing.

Passionistas: And what other kind of response are you getting from it? Are you hearing from, from other women that, that it's had an impact on them?

Liz: Oh, I, the, the best is the dms and the texts I get. It's like the funniest thing people will send me, you know, a highlighted.

Of the book, right? And they're like, oh my God. Like, you know, just, and, and three people texted me, I ran out of high, the whole book is highlighted. I ran out of Highlighter Inc. I'm like, this is hilarious. Right? So, and there are parts that really, it's funny, there's some through lines. The chapter on boundaries is by far.

What I hear the most from women, this gives me the chills. They, women did not really understand boundaries and the way they work and what they really are and why they need them. Uh, and the intricacies of that until reading the book. Um, and that people, uh, will get upset when you set a boundary, no matter how loving it is, because these are the very people.

Who are benefiting from you, not having them in the first place. And I think that's a really big reframe for people. Uh, and it, it feels scary. Like when we're first setting boundaries, when we haven't had them, it's like a baby horse. You're like on this wobbly legs. You're like trying to, you feel so stupid.

You're like, I, that's not good for me. I, I don't think I wanna do that. Like you're just trying, you know, you're just trying to get it out. Right. And I think, you know, it's, it takes some practice and I think, you know, for women especially, you know, when you've been kind of the sacrificing one, the people pleasing one, you've been doing everything for everyone else without a boundary, you will never have a legacy because you're doing everyone else's spiritual growth homework.

You're doing your kids' homework, you're doing your mom's homework, you're doing your husband's homework, you're doing your partner's homework. You're doing everybody's homework. You have no time for your work. So these boundaries are so, so, so essential. So I get so many pictures from that section. So many.

Um, and then people just, you know, they love the way the book starts with me at a Taylor Swift concert. I've had a lot of people say like, I did not expect that. I was like, this is the beginning of the book. She's at a Taylor Swift concert. Yep, that's it. That's the beginning of the book. Uh, so I think people are surprised by how deep it is, but how fun it is to read, um, and how practical it is really, because I really wanted to give solutions.

I, I'm over here, I want results and I want solutions. Um, and I wanted people to have it. So yes, lots of response. And I will say this. When I released the book, right? When I said, okay, I'm gonna let this thing be out there, because guess what? It's not fun to be like, I have put everything in the world out there about myself.

'cause sometimes when I meet a person and I don't know them, they're like, I read your book. And I go, oh, thank you. And then I go inside, I go, oh shit. She read it. Oh God. Like, you know, they, they know everything, right? So it's kind of a funny feeling, but you, but I've released it, so it feels good to me. But now I'm traveling across the country.

I'm doing these diamond dinners where I'm doing these kind of book club dinners. That has been life changing for me because being able to go to Atlanta, Minneapolis, New York and hear in person how women are feeling and what they're thinking and what they're needing right now, and being with them in it, like getting to meet my readers like that has been, talk about life changing.

That has been everything to me. Everything.

Passionistas: So, what's the most powerful thing you learned about yourself from writing the book?

Liz: God bless. These are such good questions. What? I'm so glad you didn't gimme any of these ahead of time, because I like to just see what is coming out of my mind right now. So what's the most powerful thing I learned by writing the book

Passionistas: about yourself?

Liz: About myself. That everything that happened to me was meant to happen. Mm-hmm. Even the abuse, the infertility, the disconnection with my sister, every single thing being on the brink of suicide. Everything that I mentioned in this book, when I look at, I, I remember looking at my life when I was first doing this work and hitting the wall at 49, and I thought, what is this?

Like, what is this life I'm living? Like every, just, everything just seems to not make sense. I was a standup comedian for God's sakes. Like I was. I've had the most insane life. Like I've, I've done so many interesting things, but they, nothing made sense. And then when I was writing the book, and over time I literally started zooming the lens out and I could see how all these things I thought were unrelated.

All these things that happen good and bad, and whatever that even means, it all has made. The M Mosaic, this gorgeous mosaic of my life. And I would not be able to coach women and heal them. If I had not suffered that abuse. I would not, I would not be able to heal women the way I can. The way. 'cause now I understand when Awo, I was not sexually abused, but when a woman who comes to me for a healing.

Of sexual abuse. I used to be afraid of that. Can I, can I help her? That's a lot. Now I'm like, yes I can. Yes I can. I know I can help anyone because all of the things I have been through gave me the wisdom and the power to help other people. And I think that is such a beautiful thing. So when I was writing this book, I thought, wow, if none of this had happened the exact way it did happen, I would not be here where I am right now.

And that just blew my mind. It blew my mind and it also just made me feel so good, right? That these things that can happen to us that seemingly feel so wrong and so hard, and so like, just like, why did that happen? You know? You wanna ask the why questions, which by the way, you don't ask the wise questions 'cause you're gonna get the worst possible answer because you don't ask that question.

Why? Why is never a good question, right? But when I look back on it, I see how this beautiful mosaic came together and I see how it's led to this legacy. That I'm currently sitting in now.

Passionistas: Was there one moment in your healing journey that sort of like was the moment that cracked you wide open and

Liz: Yes, yes, yes, yes.

And I talk about this in the book. There was a moment where, so I had spent a lot of years minimizing the abuse that I suffered as a child. I, I can even remember in therapy, I would try to like tell my therapist, like, I would like recount something about. How I was being abused. And I would laugh. I would be like, you know, 'cause that, like I would just kind of play it off and I would look at her and she would be having tears rolling down her face.

And it was so shocking to me because I was like so detached from what had happened to me. And I, over the years was really starting to look at that and understand that that was, and, and I wouldn't even call it abuse. I wouldn't even call it that. I was just calling it everything else, but, and I think.

When I was starting to get into more little girl work and training in that and using that with my clients, you know, they called it inner child work back in the day. I call it little girl work because I work with women. Um, but when I started to do more little girl work, I had a moment with my little girl where, and I don't tell this exact story, but this is really part of, part of that story.

There was a moment where she showed me how it felt. To be sitting in that abuse and she showed me a very specific scene in my life that I have seen a hundred times. I know this scene very well, but she let me really feel it and I experienced a terror that I have never before or since felt it scared.

The just scared me to death and I almost couldn't even come out of it. I had to like really sit with it and then she really like came to me and was like. You're minimizing this, like you're making fun of what happened to me. And so I put that conversation in the book that I had with her where I said, how did it feel for me to minimize what happened?

And she said, I didn't like that. Because that is the relationship I have with my little girl. I can ask her things and she will tell me, and she did not appreciate, hello, that I was over here minimizing that. And what I find with women is that they minimize. They say, oh, well my, I, you know, I'm so lucky. I had a great, back to the gratitude again.

I had a great childhood, da da da da. And then when I really get into it with them, they say, well, my brother used to hit me all the time. Wait, what? Well, my dad was never around 'cause he drank. What? Like we just minimized so much. And when you do that, you discredit and dishonor the little girl. And when I was doing this work in my healing journey, and I realized that, I was realizing that not just for me, but for every woman I work with and every woman that I could possibly tell, that when you minimize.

Because there's trauma, big T and little T. It doesn't have to be that, you know, you were a survivor of, you know, people were getting murdered all around you. That doesn't, it can be things that are smaller that can still cause trauma. And when you dishonor and you minimize that little girl, that that is not healthy for you and you will carry that into your adult life in ways you can't even imagine.

Passionistas: One of the things that you talked about, and you mentioned it early in this conversation and you talked about it in the book, was that when you were having this moment of ma, feel free to use that as your title of your follow-up book Moment of Ma. Is that my next book with Liz? I think that's your next book.

Yes. Um, you were trying to connect with the women in your life. Say, are you feeling like there's more for you? How do you feel about this? And they would all be like, can we just drink our wine and hang out? Like it had a rough day. I don't wanna go there. Um, how did you find your, and I'm not saying those people still aren't your people, maybe some of them are, maybe all of them are.

But how did you find your people? 'cause I think that at a certain. Point in our lives where we're not in school or working at a job in an office or going to a, you know, a, a mommy group or whatever it is, like it's harder to connect with people. So how have you been able to find your people?

Liz: It's such a good question and you know from the book, I was always longing for sisterhood because I didn't have this great relationship with my sister and it's like ironically the thing I wanted the most, right?

Sisterhood sister, I went to an all girls, uh, sleepaway camp. I got sisterhood there. I was in a sorority. I got some sisterhood there. But I was always looking for this sisterhood. And you're right, when I was in that stage of my life there, I still had young kids, which is a lot of drowning. Right. You're in a drowning phase, and by the way, we reach the drowning phase again at 50 and 60 sometimes, right?

Where we're just, oh my God, I'm drowning again. I don't know where I am. But back then, I'm just trying to keep two people alive. I got these little kids. So when I'm over here telling these ladies, is this all there is? You think there's more? And they're like, girl, I just hand me the wine. I'm just trying to keep these kids alive.

So I get that they were not ready for that conversation. I was coming to it a little bit earlier, I think, than women, you know? Really? They didn't wanna think about that then, you know? They were just like, hand me the wine. Um. Yes, I still have a lot of those ladies in my life and some of them are very into evolving themselves and healing and all that stuff, and some of them just aren't.

And that's okay too, right? But finding my people has never been to me. Um, an easy thing. And I think that's why I created my Warrior Women community. Just like you guys created your incredible Passionistas. Community. Um, I think we, we create what we most want, right? Uh, and I, and when I did that, I really did it for other women like me who are like, where can I find my people?

Um, and, but I think over the years I've continued to find more and more of my people by following my legacy. So in other words, you know, I, the fir, one of the first things I did, uh, to kind of go on a legacy journey, the messy action was starting a podcast. Then what happened? I met other women who had podcasts and I was like, oh, I love these ladies.

This is so fun. Right? And then I became a coach. Well, what happened? I met other women that were coaches and I was like, huh, I love these ladies. This is so fun. And so I, I gathered some of those friends, and then when I became a rapid transformational therapist. I met some RTT therapists that were just like me.

Oh my God, we, we compared notes. So I think when you're kind of exploring yourself and your legacy and you're doing that messy action to discover kind of what's igniting you in this season, you start to meet other women. That are wanting to evolve, wanting to grow, wanting to be deep. And I think that's really the key because we don't meet friends the same way we did when we were little.

When we were little. It was like, well, you have brown hair and I have blonde and it looks good together. You wanna be my friend? Or like, do you wanna like play kitchen with me? You wanna play family? I'll be the mother. Right? Like that's, we just kind of like would be friends with anybody that would wanna be friends with us, right?

But in this season, we want that connection. We wanna know. This woman wants the same things I want. She wants to go deep. She wants to discover her legacy. She wants to have, like, she doesn't, she's not over here in in her wine journey anymore. She wants to have conversation. Yes. Right. Not that you can't have a martini, you can't, but really finding your people that are really wanting the same things.

You want, but you gotta leave your house and you gotta do some messy action, and you gotta try some new things and challenge yourself so that you can meet these people, right? And in your community, especially, my God, you popped up this beautiful community, you get so many women together that get to support each other, feel their impact.

And guess what? That's what we want in this time. Right? So you've created the exact same space, which is so incredible, which even more. Advocacy. You're even deeper into all of that, and I think that's what we're craving at this age. So the answer is, I created the place that I wanted and I continue to evolve myself and try things so that I can meet like-minded people.

Passionistas: If you build it, they will come. Absolutely. So you mentioned your podcast. Let's talk a little bit about your podcast. So it started as conversations with Warrior Women and then you, you recently rebranded. And so tell us about that evolution and how it unfolded and maybe a couple of the transformative conversations you've had.

Liz: Oh, absolutely. Well that's, it's so interesting because, you know, if we do anything long enough. Sometimes we just start to say, do I wanna do this anymore? Like, 'cause I started it in 2020 and it was such a lifeline. I mean, other people were over here in COVID hating their lives. I was over here interviewing women, living my best life.

I was like, this is the greatest. Like I'm an early adapter to Zoom. I feel ahead of the technology. Wow. My life is awesome. Like, you know, I was just really enjoying it. But after a while. I had gotten to almost 200 episodes and I was kind of feeling like, you know, I'd launched my coaching business, I was doing rapid transformational therapy and healing people.

I really didn't have a lot of like space for this podcast. And I thought, is it really like bring, because it's one thing for other people to love it, but it's a whole other thing if you don't love it. And so I needed to really make sure, do I love this? Do I wanna continue it on? And I was starting to have those questions and I thought, okay.

What do I need to do or understand or discover that would reignite this for me? That would almost refresh this idea for me And what would feel like leaping and playing bigger, what would feel like going bigger into my legacy? And the answer came to me, well, it would be the Liz SWA Show, and it took me a year, you guys, to really be brave enough.

To do that, like to be like, okay, I'm gonna change this name. I'm gonna be this person. I'm gonna be the person who has a show, the Liz Waig show. I'm gonna be this person. And so I did it and I committed to myself that I wanted to go even bigger. I wanna get some guests that I think I can't get. I wanna have some conversations that other people aren't having.

I wanna really go deep with this. So I called my friend Paul Stanley from kiss, um, who I really don't know as Paul Stanley from Kiss. I know him as my. My best friend's husband, and I know him as my kids', fa, my kids' Playmates father. Like I really, I was not a Kiss fan when I met him. I, I, I met him when our kids were in preschool.

Um, and I've known him for 20 years and I think meeting him, uh, and being with him as often as I have been. I was really nervous to ask him, but I said, Hey Paul, will you come on my podcast? And he is like, sure. He made it like it was nothing. He was like, absolutely. I'm like, oh, you'll okay. And that conversation is incredible.

It has gone totally viral. I think it's now got like, I don't know how many views on YouTube. Probably like 10,000 at this point. And it hasn't even been on that long. And twice that many, uh, on, on, you know, just on the podcast in general on Spotify. But I got to interview him as a father and I got to talk to him about, 'cause he is really the picture of what transformation looks like for me because he chose to go to therapy when he was 15.

He got himself a therapist and he chose to really handle fame in a different way that I've seen other people handle it. So. I was so excited for that conversation, and he went there, he shared everything. So that was really, really exciting. So that was fun to really, uh, interview him. And I'm interviewing Maryanne Williamson.

You guys like, I'm dying. Like I, she is like my lady, my hero. Like I'm gonna try to really contain myself when I'm on this podcast with her, but I'm interviewing her I think next week and that, so it, I think that's what kind of reignited it for me. It was like, oh. I'm gonna try to like have some conversations with people.

I would only dream of having a conversation with, so that evolution and notice that, right? Because I could have easily given it up, right? That could have just been the answer. Like, oh, I'm not really feeling this anymore. But when I kind of challenged myself to play bigger, this is what, this is what happened.

Passionistas: Well, I have to say, the Paul Stanley interview was amazing. Amazing. So good. Never expected that to be the conversation that would be had. And your questions are incredible. And his, he was so honest and open and unbelievable podcast episode. So I can't reach to hear Maryanne Williamson.

Liz: Oh my God, yes. But you know what was so interesting to me, the question I asked him of like, what's next for you?

What's your, you know, what's next for you? Because he's now, you know, KISS is retired and, and by all intents and purposes, he's not touring with KISS anymore. Any kind of celebrity person would've been like, well, I'm writing and it, 'cause he does a lot of things, he paints, he sell, he sells. He has another band that's an r and b band.

That's incredible that he sings with. He could have easily just said, well I'm gonna paint and I'm gonna do this band and I'm gonna do this and this. And instead he was so damn honest. Like, you know, I don't know. I don't know what's next for me. I'm okay. 'cause I gotta kind of like sit in that, right? And it's okay that I'm sad that it's over.

It would be normal for me. Right. I thought what a honest and evolved person answer to just not just give me the answer that everybody kind of wants to hear. Like, oh, I'm doing, I'm doing all these great things. It's like, no, I'm gonna be sad that it's over and I'm gonna kind of like sit in it and I'm gonna figure out what's next.

But I don't know yet. I thought it was incredibly honest.

Passionistas: So let's do this because. I, I believe this. Put it out to the universe. Who are the top Oh, you're gonna ask

Liz: me. I know, but you're gonna ask me

Passionistas: who are the top three guests that you wanna have?

Liz: I mean, the, the, the funny thing is you did, I thought you were just gonna say one.

So I had one in my ha head, but now I'm gonna go to my three. Okay. Well one that I, I, it's so funny. And you're gonna, you're gonna laugh 'cause you're gonna be like, that's your. Win. Nona Judd. Why Nona Judd? I don't know what it is, but I have this thing about her. I'm so curious about her. Ever since she went on Oprah and said, I forgot to put myself on the list.

I have never forgotten that moment. Um, my friend Patty produced her documentary, um, about the Judds, and I just, I, and I don't even, I'm not even like a big fan of their music. I'm not over here. It's, I don't know. I like her. I like her. Um, so I would love to have her. Um, the other, the other, I mean, my God, of course, Hillary Clinton, Michelle Obama.

I mean, I would die 1000 deaths to have either of those people on, but my other one that really like. So important, and I gotta get it soon because I don't know if she's gonna be around much longer. Is Carol Burnett?

Passionistas: Mm. So

Liz: Carol Burnett is why I came to California because I saw her show and I thought, I wanna be like her.

I wanna be a comedian and I wanna make people laugh. And I wanted people to feel so happy when they are with me. And I thought of like, I saw it, it said, it's filmed in Studio City, California. And I'm like, oh my God, there's a pole. Studio city in California. I just, I, I literally moved to California because of her, because she just made it look so good and her Bob Mackey fabulousness, and I'm still, I still have a gay man's closet because of her full of sequins and all the things.

So I just feel like she has left such a mark on me in such an interesting way. So, ugh, God, I would die to die to interview her.

Passionistas: We did have the privilege of interviewing her and it's amazing. Yes, it was. It was before our podcast. It was while we, when we were writing for Yahoo, but we, um, and we got a phone number.

It was a phone interview. We got a phone number and you know, we expected the typical like. Call and, okay, this is her publicist. We'll get her on the line for you. Hold, hold please. And we call and the phone rings. And on the other end the voice goes, hi, this is Carol. We both died. We like literally died. I would've died.

Died. Yeah. It was, it was, it was amazing.

Liz: Fabulous,

Passionistas: fabulous conversation.

Liz: Oh my God. Well, hopefully the universe will deliver her right over because. I really, I really would love that. And it's so funny when you say that because one person I actually am really glad I did interview for conversations with Warrior Woman is Suzanne Summers because, you know, I thought she was gonna live forever.

'cause that who is more committed to their health? I don't even know another person. Yeah. Um, that was one of my best interviews and the reason why I know it was one of my best is not because it was the most listened to, it's because her husband, Al and I, who I just adore, at the end of it, he said, Liz.

We've done a lot of interviews. That was really good. And you stuck to that timeframe and you kept it moving. You asked, you did your research. We, I'm really impressed and I was so happy that he told me that. 'cause this is like, he's been managing her since God was a boy. So I was like, oh my God, that's such a compliment.

So that makes me think of that, like how wonderful you had that experience with Carol Burnett. Like you'll never forget that for the rest of your life.

Passionistas: We can't wait to go to dinner with you after you have yours and we can compare notes.

Liz: Yes. We will celebrate that moment. Yes.

Passionistas: So how can people get in touch with you if they would like to deal in, deal in your fabulousness?

Liz: Well, they can go to Instagram and follow me on lizsvatek.com because I, I do a lot of lunacy on there 'cause I do like to bring in my standup comedian ways, uh, as a humor, as a healer. Uh, but you can go to lizsvatek.com, but just my name.com and you can see all my things that I offer and all my things. But I would love to give you a gift, please.

Um, I'd love to give you guys my Empowered Woman's Playbook and it's a, a free thing that I'd love to give you where it's a six episode podcast and a workbook about everything. It's sort of what I wrote before I wrote the book. Uh, so it's about boundaries and about, you know, just those feelings we're having where we don't have a voice and legacy and all those things.

But it's really, really good and everybody loves it. So I'd love to gift it to you.

Passionistas: Excellent. We will let our, uh, our community know where they can get all the details for that. We'll put it in the show notes and we are very grateful to you for that. Um, that is a lovely, lovely gift. Um, I hate to say this, but we have two, only two, one last two part question and then we we're done talking for the day.

Um, so Liz, what is your dream for yourself and what is your dream for women?

Liz: Ooh. My dream for myself is that I never stop growing and learning. Uh, you know, as much as I love being the tea, the teacher, I love being the student. I love learning new things and learning about people, and. So I always just wanna be learning and growing and traveling, and that's, that's really my dream for me, is just having the freedom to learn and grow and travel, try new things.

Always evolve. So that's my dream for myself. And then my dream for women is to heal. I wanna heal 1 million women. That's my dream. And I can't do that alone, right? I can't heal 1 million women as my one self. Um, so I'm open to what that looks like. I'm writing a TED Talk right now. I am. I got my book I'm doing, you know, I have a YouTube channel.

I'm trying to kind of get these messages of healing out. I want women to be free. Again, I want women living in their legacy because a world of women living in their legacy is like living in a room full of disco balls. It's just like, I can't even imagine, right? If, if, if a woman is in her legacy, she's like a little disco ball and.

What do do, disco balls do, they reflect, right? So if we're all disco balls, we're reflecting each other and like, oh my God, Amy and Nancy, you're doing amazing. Oh my God, Liz, you're doing amazing. And we're just over there, right? Collaborating and in, in that joy and in that just epic legacy. Legacy. So that's my dream is 1 million women healed.

I'm gonna, I'll have to up the, the number, if I, if I, if I start achieving anything close to it, I'm gonna up that number.

Passionistas: I think that's gonna happen. You've already, uh, you've already affected us so greatly in the short time we've known you and we love you, and we're so glad that we finally got to have this conversation.

And we hope it's the first of many, many, many.

Thanks for listening to the Passionistas Project podcast. As real life sisters, best friends and business partners, we know how rare it is to have a built-in support system. But we also know that so many women activists, solopreneurs, and purpose-driven people are out there doing it alone and wishing they had a community like ours.

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