"Fine" the Sequel

Passionista Takeovers: Stories of Purpose — At The Passionistas Project, we believe in the power of women sharing their stories to inspire, uplift, and remind each other what’s possible. Through our Passionista Takeovers: Stories of Purpose series, we’re opening our platform to the incredible women in our community. We have asked our Power Passionistas and Premium Members to take over our blog to share their personal journeys — the moments, challenges, and turning points that shaped the work they do today. Today’s story comes from Kari Hurd. After decades of surviving and settling for “fine,” Kari shares how letting go of what was never hers to carry led her to the freedom and purpose she’d been searching for all along.

People say, "Wow, you've really overcome a lot in your life."

 And I always want to say — not exactly.

I don't think we overcome difficult experiences. We overcome the limiting beliefs that are the byproduct of those experiences. I didn't overcome having an abusive, alcoholic father. I endured that. What I overcame was the belief that I didn't matter. I didn't overcome being sexually abused at eight years old. I overcame the belief that my voice didn't matter — that keeping quiet was safer, that my body was the only currency I had. I didn't overcome a bad marriage. I overcame the belief that that's all I deserved.

So no. I haven't overcome a lot of experiences. I've survived a lot of bad ones. And I've spent years working hard to overcome the stories those experiences left behind.

For most of my life, people described me as resilient. Strong. Independent. A warrior.

I hated it.

Resilience requires struggle to prove itself. And I had spent so long enduring struggle that the word felt less like a compliment and more like a life sentence. So instead, I got really good at fine.

Fine was safe. Fine was stable. Fine meant nothing was actively on fire. I became an expert at keeping quiet, managing my own needs, keeping my expectations low enough that I'd never be disappointed. I built a whole life around fine — the job, the marriage, the perfect picket fence in the suburbs, the dog, two beautiful kids, a minivan. And it was all… fine.

The Universe tried to warn me. She sent nudges, visions, intuitive hits at every turn. In college, I had a full-blown vision of becoming a powerful international businesswoman — I could feel it. Then I barely passed Accounting 101 and declared education as my major instead. Fine was always louder than the dream.

She kept trying. I kept not listening. And eventually, the Universe stopped whispering and sent a freight train.

Piece by piece, everything I had built came apart. My career of 20+ years. A second long-term relationship. The life I had curated and endured since I was 22 — gone. And in 2018, I started rebuilding.

If you've ever watched an HGTV renovation show, it was exactly like that. Every time I knocked down a metaphorical wall, more damage was exposed — all the way down to the studs. The process took twice as long, cost twice as much, and required twice as much energy as I expected. But even in the darkest moments, I stayed committed to following my intuition. Because the most important thing I'd learned through all of it was that my gut was the only thing that had never lied to me.

So I followed it.

And then I spent eight years swinging the pendulum the other way.

I grasped for anything that felt like mine. I launched and scrapped more podcasts and business ideas than I can count. I chased the version of myself I thought I was supposed to become. I was so determined to build something that I never stopped to ask if I actually wanted what I was building.

Eventually, exhausted and feeling like a failure, I stepped back. Got a regular job. And just… lived.That became the turning point.

Not a breakthrough. Not a dramatic moment of clarity. Just — living. Existing inside my own world without an agenda. And in that quiet, I started discovering things. What I loved. What I didn't. What I actually wanted. What I stood for. What I was done carrying.

You know those mundane moments that slap you in the face? I had one of those recently — in the shower, of course, because that's always where they hit. Standing there, mid-shampoo, not thinking about anything in particular, when it just… arrived.

That's not mine to carry.

And just like that, something cracked open. I started thinking about all of it — the stories, the thoughts, the tasks, the burdens I'd been hauling around for decades. Some of them weren't even mine to begin with. I'd just picked them up along the way and never once questioned whether I was supposed to put them down.

In that moment, some part of me found freedom.

I've felt lighter ever since. Happier. More myself than I've ever been. And somewhere in that quiet, ordinary, mid-shampoo moment — I finally found the bigger purpose I'd been searching for since I was 22.

Not because I chased it down. Because I finally stopped carrying everything that was in the way.

The girl who kept quiet. The woman who settled for fine. The one who burned it all down. The one who just lived.All the same person. All connected. All leading here.

Get your FREE Copy of Kari's Personal Infastructure Audit HERE.

Thank you to Kari Hurd for sharing her story with the Passionistas community. If her story resonated with you, we encourage you to follow and support her journey.